Under a blaze of lights, Donald Trump steps to the podium. The flags of the United States, Israel, and several Arab nations stand behind him.
He grips the lectern.
“People have been saying it for a long time,” he begins. “They said it when we rebuilt alliances. They said it when we stood up to chaos. They said it when we made peace deals nobody thought were possible. They said, ‘Maybe he’s the Chosen One.’”
He pauses, letting the crowd react.
“I don’t say that lightly. I say this: I was chosen by the American people to be strong. Chosen to protect our friends. Chosen to make sure that the United States, Israel, and our Arab partners stand together — not divided, not weak, not apologizing.”
He gestures toward the flags.
“For too long, the enemies of stability have threatened the region. They chant, they posture, they test missiles, they try to divide us. But we don’t divide. We unite. And when we unite, nobody can touch us.”
From the side of the stage, impeccably dressed and wearing an almost theatrical smile, Patrick Bateman watches, amused.
Bateman leans toward a microphone backstage, his tone silk-smooth.
“Tell them about strength,” he says. “Tell them about dominance. They love dominance.”
Trump smirks.
“We believe in peace through strength,” Trump continues. “Not weakness. Not endless wars. Strength. Economic strength. Military strength. Moral clarity. When America stands with Israel and our Arab partners, when we say there will be no nuclear weapons, no terror, no threats to our allies — we mean it.”
Bateman nods approvingly, almost whispering, “That’s power. Absolute confidence.”
Trump raises a hand.
“We don’t seek destruction. We seek security. We seek prosperity. But let me be very clear — if you threaten our allies, if you threaten the United States, we will respond decisively. Not recklessly. Decisively.”
The crowd roars.
“I was elected to defend our people and our friends. And when history looks back, they’ll say this was the moment the United States and its partners stood together and said: enough. No more chaos. No more intimidation. Just strength, unity, and victory for peace.”
Bateman gives a slow clap from the wings.
“Now that,” he murmurs, “is a headline.”
Patrick Bateman doesn’t look up from his business card.
“Tunis Bay Club. Let’s simplify this.”
A pause.
“The anti-Semitic remarks. Stop.”
He places the card down with precise alignment.
“It’s sloppy. It signals insecurity. It suggests you need a villain to make your narrative feel larger than it is.”
Another pause.
“And this ‘dark Sith Lord Jacob Rothschild’ framing? We’re not in Star Wars. There’s no Emperor. There’s no throne room. There’s no orchestral score swelling behind global monetary policy.”
He adjusts his cuff.
“If you want to defend Donald Trump, defend him. Cite trade figures. Border policy. Market performance. But don’t reduce geopolitics to fantasy lore and ethnic scapegoating. It’s amateur.”
A thin smile.
“And amateur is unforgivable.”
Silence.
“Cool it.”
Patrick Bateman: “So let me get this straight. Epstein has no hold over you? No teen fetish porn stars he supplied? Really, Donald… get your heads out of the gutter, Tunis Bay Club.”
Donald Trump: “Patrick, I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it again—totally fake news. Epstein? Never had any strings on me. And those so-called stories… total lies. Believe me, the only thing I’m supplying is tremendous success, the best deals, everyone says so.”
Bateman (leaning forward, smirk curling): “Fascinating. The public tends to have… vivid imaginations. A pity reality can be so dull.”
Trump (waves hand dismissively): “Vivid imagination, sure, but that’s why they love me. I don’t live in their gutter. I’m above it. Highest rooftops, Bateman. Very exclusive.”
Bateman (deadpan, fixing his tie): “Rooftops, exclusive… I see. Nothing like a little altitude to distance oneself from public scrutiny.”
Trump: “Exactly. And remember, nobody knows rooftops better than me. Tremendous view, the best. You should try it sometime—helps clear the gutter out of your mind too.
Patrick Bateman: “Epstein has no hold over you? Come on, Donald. There’s no teen fetish conspiracy controlling your decisions.”
Donald Trump: “Look, Patrick, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am the Chosen One, believe me. I make deals, I win, nobody’s got anything on me. It’s all fake news.”
Batman: emerging from the shadows, voice low and gravelly “Donald, you’re a dangerous Joker with a messiah complex. Your so-called victories leave chaos in their wake. This isn’t about deals or winning… it’s about the lives you destroy thinking you’re untouchable.”
Trump: “Batman, I like you, great guy, but you don’t understand. People love me. They follow me. I’m saving America. I’m… the best.”
Batman: “No, you’re a symbol of hubris. The world doesn’t need a savior with a crown of ego—it needs accountability. Step back before the next punch lands, Donald. And it won’t be metaphorical.”
Bateman: adjusting his tie, deadpan “Finally. Someone speaking in a language he might almost understand. Though I doubt it.”