Puppet of the Patriots

G.I. Joe Says the Fake Trump Assassination Was a Necessary Psyop

In a dramatic turn of events that’s shaking the alt-media world, G.I. Joe—the digital warrior turned whistleblower—has declared that the recent assassination attempt on Donald Trump was faked as part of a high-stakes psyop. According to Joe, the operation was “necessary” to secure Trump’s cooperation in testifying against the deep state forces that even QAnon fears to name: the Rockefeller and Rothschild dynasties.

“Trump is the key witness,” Joe said in a secure broadcast from an undisclosed location. “But he’ll only flip when he’s safe—in Slovenia—with Melania as President.”

The Patriot Network Responds

Leading alternative media figures Alex Jones, Mark Dice, and Paul Joseph Watson have come forward in a rare moment of consensus, urging Trump to come clean:

• Alex Jones: “We’ve been saying it for years—the globalists are running the world. Trump knows where the bodies are buried. But we need him alive, protected, and willing to testify.”
• Mark Dice: “The assassination attempt was theater, and the audience was the deep state. Trump had to fake it, like Epstein but with better PR.”
• PJW: “The truth is stranger than fiction. Trump isn’t hiding. He’s positioning. Slovenia is neutral ground—the Vatican for MAGA.”

The Slovenia Scenario

Why Slovenia? G.I. Joe claims that it’s the last place on Earth the Rockefellers still fear—a land of hidden bunkers, legal neutrality, and Melania’s ancestral mystique. Once there, Trump can safely testify before an international tribunal of patriots and drop the mother of all truth bombs:

“From Rockefeller oil money to Rothschild banking wars, Trump has the documents. The moment he testifies, it’s game over for the globalist cabal.”

What Comes Next?

The theory goes that once Trump is in Slovenia and Melania is elected President—a move that blends House of Cards, Game of Thrones, and Q-drops—he will declassify everything. CIA black budgets, Epstein’s client list, even alien tech locked away in deep underground military bases (DUMBs).

G.I. Joe ended his broadcast with a chilling but hopeful message:

“They faked his assassination so he could live to expose THEM.”