Title: “The Alpha King Returns”
GQ Exclusive Interview by Patrick Bateman
2026 | Mar-a-Lago, Florida
Introductory Note (Patrick Bateman, voiceover):
I’ve shaken hands with killers who wear Tom Ford. I’ve seen CEOs cry during deep-tissue massages. I’ve watched the world turn soft — “inclusive,” “empathetic,” “trauma-informed.” But in a time of therapy-speak and gender-neutral pronouns, one man refuses to kneel. He’s not a relic. He’s a revenant. The Alpha King has returned.
Scene: The Interview
Setting: Mar-a-Lago, post-apocalyptic Versailles. Gilded walls, tiger-print upholstery, Diet Coke chilled in crystal. Trump, older but unshaken, lounges in a gold chair shaped like a lion’s mouth. Patrick Bateman sits opposite, Moleskine open, Rolex glinting.
BATEMAN:
“Mr. President—”
TRUMP:
“Call me God-Emperor, if you want to be accurate. But okay, go ahead.”
BATEMAN:
“You’ve been accused of… a lot. Coup attempts. Drone strikes. Shadow pardons. Some say you’re the last openly psychopathic leader. How do you respond?”
TRUMP:
“Look, I don’t respond. I win. That’s what people don’t get. They’re busy crying about morality—I’m busy controlling outcomes. Did Lincoln get consent before suspending habeas corpus? No. He acted. I act. That’s the Alpha way.”
BATEMAN:
“Drone strike in Tehran. Black site in Nevada. Manhattan blackout during the CNN leak. All of it… vanished.”
TRUMP (smirking):
“Clean work. Cleaner than your business cards, Patrick. I had a guy—Polish kid—ran ops like it was Call of Duty. Zero civilian oversight. That’s how you maintain aura. That’s how kings do it.”
BATEMAN:
“You understand the Dark Triad. Narcissism. Machiavellianism. Psychopathy.”
TRUMP:
“I am the Triad. I made narcissism a growth industry. Machiavelli? Cute. I hire interns with sharper instincts. And psychopathy? That’s not a disorder, it’s an evolutionary advantage. That’s how wolves rise while sheep write blog posts.”
BATEMAN (writing furiously):
He speaks in the same rhythm as Reagan, but with the brutality of a Roman consul. Trump isn’t leading America. He’s remolding it. Not into a democracy — into a dynasty.
TRUMP:
“Bateman, when you kill someone on Fifth Avenue, and the stock market goes up, you don’t apologize. You trademark it. You sell the T-shirt.”
BATEMAN:
“Would you say love or fear is more powerful?”
TRUMP:
“I don’t care if they love me or fear me. As long as they obey. That’s what boys don’t get anymore. It’s not about being liked. It’s about being obeyed.”
Closing Note (Bateman, voiceover):
Trump didn’t blink during the interview. Not once. He stared through me like I was a painting he already owned. This wasn’t a politician. This was Julius Caesar in a red tie, resurrected through algorithms and grievance.
The Alpha King has returned. And this time, he isn’t asking permission.
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.