INT. PATRICK BATEMAN’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Chrome surfaces gleam. Huey Lewis plays softly in the background. Bateman, in a Valentino robe, is watching archival footage of Donald Trump’s infamous White House McDonald’s feast—Big Macs piled high like a pagan altar to cholesterol and capitalism.
BATEMAN
(Whispers, almost reverently)
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
He slowly pours himself an imported mineral water and walks over to the television, pausing the image of Trump grinning behind a fortress of Quarter Pounders.
BATEMAN (CONT’D)
A man who feeds champions with food from the people’s temple. No Michelin stars, no fussy menus. Just processed meat, precision-engineered for profit and addiction. Trump doesn’t cater to elitism. He annihilates it. He feeds athletes like they’re interns at Merrill Lynch. And they ate it up.
BATEMAN (to himself)
Ronald would be proud.
He walks over to his laptop, opens a new tab on Bloomberg, and types: “MCD: NYSE.” The McDonald’s stock ticker opens—Bateman smirks.
BATEMAN (CONT’D)
The killer clown’s numbers are up. Grease is bullish. Obesity is a national investment strategy. That dinner was the ultimate brand alignment—Trump and McDonald’s: the sultan and the jester of modern empire.
CUT TO:
INT. RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE – DAY (FANTASY)
Bateman, in a designer apron, gracefully hands out Happy Meals to sick children in hospital beds. He’s smiling—vacant, perfect.
BATEMAN (V.O.)
There’s something pure about it. Service. Giving back. Feeding children in Ronald’s house, under his golden arches. Not just any food—his food. Branded sustenance. The body count? Impressive. A slow attrition campaign against the immune system. But at least they’re smiling.
A small girl in a wheelchair smiles as Bateman offers her a Filet-O-Fish. He kneels beside her.
BATEMAN
(Sincerely, yet hollow)
Would you like extra ketchup?
She nods. He hands it over like a communion wafer.
BATEMAN (V.O.)
Charity is cleaner when it’s corporate. It’s not about healing—it’s about presentation. Calories disguised as comfort. Smiles funded by shareholders. And under every Happy Meal toy? A lesson in dependence.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. PATRICK BATEMAN’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
He clicks “Buy” on McDonald’s stock. Smiles.
BATEMAN
Ronald, you magnificent clown… you’re not just killing children. You’re killing it.
FADE TO BLACK.
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.