Category: Illuminati

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Dire Consequences

Trump (in the Oval Office, pacing):
They say there’s a Red Cloak figure pulling strings. Very dramatic. Very “movie villain.” My people tell me it’s like Eyes Wide Shut, but with worse lighting.

Webmaster (typing nervously):
Sir, the internet is exploding. Forums are saying this “Red Cloak” character—some aristocratic banker archetype—is threatening your family unless you take out “the founding father of Israel’s enemies.” It’s trending under #PuppetGate.

Croatian Apprentice (earnest, strong accent):
Mr. President, in my village, we say: if someone tries to pull your strings, you cut the strings. You do not dance.

Trump (stops pacing):
Exactly! I don’t want to be anyone’s puppet. Not some secret society. Not some Illuminati fan club with better capes than taste. If I’m anything, I’m a puppet of the American people. The patriots. The voters.

Webmaster:
So how do we message this? Because online, conspiracy culture is mixing fiction and reality. They’re naming real financiers, old families, secret cabals…

Trump:
We don’t name real people. That’s how you get sued. Or worse—fact-checked. We keep it big picture. Archetypes. Shadows. Symbolism. Like a comic book.

Croatian Apprentice:
Yes. Make it mythic. Red Cloak is not a man. He is a symbol of corruption. Of global pressure. Of fear politics.

Trump (points):
I like that. Symbolism. Very classy. So here’s the message: No threats. No shadow deals. No secret oaths in candlelit mansions. America decides America’s policy. Not masked balls.

Webmaster:
And Israel?

Trump:
America supports its allies based on national interest. Not because someone whispers in a velvet room. Not because of fear. If we act, we act openly. Strongly. Proudly.

Croatian Apprentice (smiles):
In Croatia, we say: sunlight is best disinfectant.

Trump:
Exactly. We bring sunlight. No cloaks. No daggers. Just flags.

Webmaster (posting draft):
“Tonight I reaffirm: I serve the American people. Not secret societies. Not fictional villains. Policy will be made in the light of day.”

Trump (nods):
Good. And add something about strength. Always add strength.

Croatian Apprentice:
And freedom.

Trump:
Strength and freedom. Very patriotic. No puppets.

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Trump Declassifies the Black Dahlia Tapes

Scene: “The Hail Mary Broadcast” — G.I. Joe vs. the Illuminati

Exterior – Nightfall – Vancouver, glowing with neon and secrets. Joe, no longer just a soldier, but a crusader of cosmic justice, stands outside a Tim Hortons on Main Street. The red leaf sign flickers. Joe stares it down like it’s the eye of the Beast.

JOE (to himself):
“Maple syrup’s got blood in it.”

He SPITS on the window. It drips slowly down the glass. A family inside gasps. He doesn’t care. This is war.

Cut to: National Broadcast Interruption
Every screen across North America glitches. Static. Then—

🎙️ G.I. JOE (VO – distorted, thunderous):
“This is not a test. This is a revelation.”

On every network, G.I. Joe appears in an XCOM war room, flanked by agents and backed by digital firewalls glowing like the Matrix. He turns to a trembling, orange-faced Donald Trump, bound to a chair with a “Skull & Bones” patch on his suit.

JOE:
“Mr. President. Play the Black Dahlia tapes. Now.”

TRUMP (sweating):
“Joe, please… that stuff’s not for the public—”

JOE:
“Exactly. It’s for the parents. For every mom and dad who needs to know what Satanic Hollywood rituals look like. This ain’t no movie.”

Trump gulps. With shaking hands, he presses PLAY.

The screen behind them shows black-and-white footage. A girl’s scream. Strange robes. Cameras. Blood. Laughter. Masks. Candles. Then silence.

A warning flashes:

🔞 “NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. PARENTAL RECKONING REQUIRED.” 🔞

Cut to: Downtown Vancouver – Day
Joe walks like fire incarnate through the streets. Wendy’s? Closed. White Spot? Graffiti’d with “CHILDREN ARE NOT ON THE MENU.”

He marches up to McDonald’s. The golden arches loom like a portal to Hell. Joe stares at the giant plastic Ronald statue and snarls.

JOE:
“You think this clown’s funny? That’s not a happy meal—it’s a death cult starter pack.”

He pulls out a megaphone:

JOE (shouting):
“I want a boycott! BOYCOTT MASONIC BUSINESSES! Burn the arches! Take back your city!”

Passersby begin to stop. Some clap. Others film. The revolution is going viral.

Cut to: A dark alley near the CBC Building
Tom Welling, once a Smallville star, now just a man trying to make peace, steps forward. His hoodie is pulled low. His hands tremble.

TOM WELLING:
“Joe…”

Joe turns. Recognizes him. Pauses. He doesn’t speak.

TOM (choked up):
“I went to Ronald McDonald House. Smiled with that clown. I did it… hoping you’d see. Hoping you’d do something I couldn’t.”

Joe nods slowly. Like a priest granting penance with his eyes.

TOM (ashamed):
“I thought maybe… you’d pull a Hail Mary. And you did.”

JOE (quiet, firm):
“This ain’t about shame, Tom. It’s about truth. And you found your way back.”

Joe hands Tom a flame-shaped pin—red and gold: the symbol of the Children’s Fire, an old tribal oath to never again let harm come to a child.

JOE:
“Time to burn the clowns.”

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