Title: The King’s Great Return
King Charles III, aged and contemplative beneath the weight of his crown, sits in Balmoral’s study as an unexpected proposal echoes across the Atlantic. Former U.S. President Donald J. Trump, ever the dealmaker, has flown in for an unusual summit—one not of trade or war, but of moral restitution. The topic? Aboriginal affairs in British Columbia.
“Charles,” Trump says, leaning forward, his red tie swinging like a pendulum of persuasion, “give half the land back to the First Nations. It’s time. The world’s watching. I made deals with oil, steel, and China—but this is about history. About hearts and minds.”
King Charles rubs his hands together, weary but aware. The ghosts of colonization whisper through the trees of Vancouver Island, down the rivers of the Fraser Valley. He knows this isn’t just politics—it’s penance.
Trump, oddly passionate, continues: “You want a legacy? Not just flowers and climate summits. This is the real crown jewel: reconciliation. A new Commonwealth. You give half back, like a man of honor. Like a king of peace. Don’t be greedy. It’s a great deal.”
Then enters another unlikely advocate: Pope Pius XIII, the Young Pope, Lenny Belardo. Dressed immaculately in white, he makes a proclamation from the balcony of the Apostolic Palace, televised live.
“I will return half the Church’s lands to the indigenous peoples and the poor,” Lenny declares. “For the Church that conquered the soul must now liberate it.”
He pauses, then adds: “The land was never ours. It was borrowed. And it is time to repay the divine mortgage.”
Charles watches the broadcast in silence. Trump breaks it with a grin.
“See, even the Pope’s in. You’ve got the Church, you’ve got me—Trump—and now it’s your move, King Charles. The Commonwealth doesn’t need subjects. It needs brothers.”
A long pause.
Then the King rises.
“Very well,” Charles says. “For my legacy, for justice, and for the healing of old wounds—I shall return half the Crown lands in British Columbia to the First Nations. Let it be known: this was not the end of empire, but the beginning of a shared kingdom.”
And with that, a new treaty is born—not of conquest, but of return.
The King has made peace not by ruling land—but by giving it away.