INT. TRUMP TOWER – PRIVATE GYM – NIGHT
Donald Trump does light curls with golden dumbbells. Patrick Bateman, flawless in an Armani tracksuit, wipes imaginary sweat from his brow. On the TV screen: a replay of Trump’s legendary wrestling match with Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 23. The hair vs. hair match. The moment Trump tackled McMahon to the ground echoes like a gladiator’s myth.
PATRICK BATEMAN
(grinning, pacing like a predator)
That moment when you tackled Vince… Donald, it was electric. You weren’t just in the ring. You owned the ring. A hostile takeover of the squared circle.
DONALD TRUMP
(nods, smug)
People said I couldn’t do it. They said I’d embarrass myself. But I said—watch me. I’ve built towers. Why not take down a wrestling tyrant?
PATRICK BATEMAN
(dark chuckle)
And you did. Like a CEO executing a corporate raid. Vince McMahon didn’t stand a chance. None of them do. The wrestlers, the fans… the bodies pile up, but the brand survives.
DONALD TRUMP
(pumps another curl)
Exactly. The brand is immortal. The rest? Just background noise. Guys like Austin, Hogan, The Rock—they’re great. But I stepped in once and rewrote the whole show.
PATRICK BATEMAN
(coldly)
Dead wrestlers tell no tales, Donald. That’s the truth. They fall off ladders, overdose, collapse in the ring. But the corporation? The corporation endures. You can chant “Rest in peace” all you want—but in the end, there’s only one anthem: “No chance in hell.”
DONALD TRUMP
(smiles, savoring it)
That was my theme song, you know. The music when I walked down the ramp. “No chance—that’s what you’ve got…” Boom. Pure gold.
PATRICK BATEMAN
(deadpan)
It’s practically a mission statement. No chance in hell—for the weak. For the poor. For the over-muscled meat puppets who think theatrics equal power.
DONALD TRUMP
(laughing)
Patrick, you really get it. Most people don’t. They think wrestling is fake. I tell them, “The pain is real. So is the money.”
PATRICK BATEMAN
(sips electrolyte water)
And so is the power dynamic. You versus Vince? That wasn’t a match. That was a boardroom merger. You shaved his head like a hostile takeover. Like a scalp trophy on the wall.
The camera pans to a framed photo of Trump holding electric clippers over Vince McMahon’s bald head. Bateman stares at it the way one might admire a Rothko—silent, reverent, cold.
Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.