INT. TRUMP TOWER – NIGHT — PRIVATE STUDY
The room smells like leather and power. Fox News plays quietly on the TV in the background—trans weightlifting controversy. Donald Trump lounges in a gold-trimmed armchair, half-watching. Patrick Bateman stands by the window in a sleek charcoal suit, swirling a glass of Bordeaux like it’s blood.
DONALD TRUMP
(raising an eyebrow)
You see this, Patrick? A biological man just smashed the women’s weightlifting record. They say it’s brave. I say—it’s bench pressing biology.
PATRICK BATEMAN
(dryly)
Brave? Donald, I’ve seen braver things in a Dior dressing room. This isn’t progress. It’s performance art with protein powder.
DONALD TRUMP
(smirking)
They say I should be inclusive. I am inclusive. I just think it’s unfair. You shouldn’t be able to walk into a competition with testosterone in your veins and walk out with a trophy in a wig.
PATRICK BATEMAN
(nods)
It’s not sport. It’s spectacle. Like giving a Wall Street banker an Olympic medal for insider trading—technically impressive, morally bankrupt.
(pauses)
Also, a word of advice, Donald: never buy a Trans Am.
DONALD TRUMP
(confused)
The car?
PATRICK BATEMAN
Yes. Pontiac. Sleek. Masculine. But in today’s culture? A PR disaster waiting to happen. You drive a Trans Am, and GLAAD might show up with torches and hashtags.
DONALD TRUMP
(chuckling)
I thought it stood for “Trans-American.” Now it’s “Transgender-American?”
PATRICK BATEMAN
Exactly. Semantics are landmines. You say “transmission,” they hear “transition.” You say “manpower,” they hear “microaggression.”
DONALD TRUMP
(laughing harder)
It’s like walking on woke eggshells. They tried to cancel me for saying “manhole cover.” What am I supposed to say? Personhole?
PATRICK BATEMAN
(stone-faced)
Utility aperture, Donald. Get with the program.
They share a laugh—two titans of obliviousness standing proudly against the cultural tide, refusing to read the room but owning the building it’s in.