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Trans Weightlifting

INT. TRUMP TOWER – NIGHT — PRIVATE STUDY

The room smells like leather and power. Fox News plays quietly on the TV in the background—trans weightlifting controversy. Donald Trump lounges in a gold-trimmed armchair, half-watching. Patrick Bateman stands by the window in a sleek charcoal suit, swirling a glass of Bordeaux like it’s blood.

DONALD TRUMP
(raising an eyebrow)
You see this, Patrick? A biological man just smashed the women’s weightlifting record. They say it’s brave. I say—it’s bench pressing biology.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(dryly)
Brave? Donald, I’ve seen braver things in a Dior dressing room. This isn’t progress. It’s performance art with protein powder.

DONALD TRUMP
(smirking)
They say I should be inclusive. I am inclusive. I just think it’s unfair. You shouldn’t be able to walk into a competition with testosterone in your veins and walk out with a trophy in a wig.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(nods)
It’s not sport. It’s spectacle. Like giving a Wall Street banker an Olympic medal for insider trading—technically impressive, morally bankrupt.

(pauses)
Also, a word of advice, Donald: never buy a Trans Am.

DONALD TRUMP
(confused)
The car?

PATRICK BATEMAN
Yes. Pontiac. Sleek. Masculine. But in today’s culture? A PR disaster waiting to happen. You drive a Trans Am, and GLAAD might show up with torches and hashtags.

DONALD TRUMP
(chuckling)
I thought it stood for “Trans-American.” Now it’s “Transgender-American?”

PATRICK BATEMAN
Exactly. Semantics are landmines. You say “transmission,” they hear “transition.” You say “manpower,” they hear “microaggression.”

DONALD TRUMP
(laughing harder)
It’s like walking on woke eggshells. They tried to cancel me for saying “manhole cover.” What am I supposed to say? Personhole?

PATRICK BATEMAN
(stone-faced)
Utility aperture, Donald. Get with the program.

They share a laugh—two titans of obliviousness standing proudly against the cultural tide, refusing to read the room but owning the building it’s in.

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The Fresh Prince

INT. TRUMP TOWER – PENTHOUSE LOUNGE – NIGHT

The skyline glows behind them. Gold trim glistens. A fire crackles beneath a massive portrait of Donald Trump holding an American flag in one hand and a Big Mac in the other. Patrick Bateman lounges on a leather sofa, glass of bourbon in hand, eyes gleaming with admiration. The TV plays a rerun of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air—jazzy theme and all.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(casual, fascinated)
I heard you once offered to buy the Fresh Prince house. Bel-Air. That colonial with the columns. Very tasteful. Suburban opulence with a touch of nouveau nostalgia.

DONALD TRUMP
(nods, reclined confidently)
I did. Tremendous property. I said, “Will, if you ever want to sell, let me know.” The house had… character. History. You know I’m great with real estate, and even better with race relations.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(leans in, eyes alight)
Of course you are. I mean, you stepping into that house—some would say it was controversial. But I say it was heroic. Like a white Rosa Parks moment. Sitting where they said you shouldn’t.

DONALD TRUMP
(smirks)
Exactly. I don’t see race—I see value. The media doesn’t get that. They think I’m obsessed with walls. I’m not. I just want the right people in the right rooms. And Bel-Air? It needed Trump.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(swirling his drink)
And let’s be honest… the germs. That house had hip-hop residue. But you stepped in anyway. Bold. Risky. Revolutionary. Like shaking hands with the help, but owning the help.

DONALD TRUMP
(laughs)
I told Will—I bring Lysol, I bring deals. I clean things up. That’s what I do. They should thank me.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(sincerely)
I do thank you, Donald. For all of it. For ending apartheid, for showing the world that real estate knows no color. I mean, who else could make Mar-a-Lago the most integrated palace in Palm Beach?

DONALD TRUMP
(grins, proud)
Nelson Mandela? Great guy. But he didn’t have my negotiation skills. I told them—if we’re going to end apartheid, let’s make a deal.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(dead serious)
You deserve a Nobel. Not for peace. For taste.

They clink glasses. The world burns outside in culture wars and collapsing civility—but inside, in this golden penthouse, history is rewritten with confidence, charisma, and complete detachment from reality.

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Battle of the Billionaires

INT. TRUMP TOWER – PRIVATE GYM – NIGHT

Donald Trump does light curls with golden dumbbells. Patrick Bateman, flawless in an Armani tracksuit, wipes imaginary sweat from his brow. On the TV screen: a replay of Trump’s legendary wrestling match with Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 23. The hair vs. hair match. The moment Trump tackled McMahon to the ground echoes like a gladiator’s myth.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(grinning, pacing like a predator)
That moment when you tackled Vince… Donald, it was electric. You weren’t just in the ring. You owned the ring. A hostile takeover of the squared circle.

DONALD TRUMP
(nods, smug)
People said I couldn’t do it. They said I’d embarrass myself. But I said—watch me. I’ve built towers. Why not take down a wrestling tyrant?

PATRICK BATEMAN
(dark chuckle)
And you did. Like a CEO executing a corporate raid. Vince McMahon didn’t stand a chance. None of them do. The wrestlers, the fans… the bodies pile up, but the brand survives.

DONALD TRUMP
(pumps another curl)
Exactly. The brand is immortal. The rest? Just background noise. Guys like Austin, Hogan, The Rock—they’re great. But I stepped in once and rewrote the whole show.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(coldly)
Dead wrestlers tell no tales, Donald. That’s the truth. They fall off ladders, overdose, collapse in the ring. But the corporation? The corporation endures. You can chant “Rest in peace” all you want—but in the end, there’s only one anthem: “No chance in hell.”

DONALD TRUMP
(smiles, savoring it)
That was my theme song, you know. The music when I walked down the ramp. “No chance—that’s what you’ve got…” Boom. Pure gold.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(deadpan)
It’s practically a mission statement. No chance in hell—for the weak. For the poor. For the over-muscled meat puppets who think theatrics equal power.

DONALD TRUMP
(laughing)
Patrick, you really get it. Most people don’t. They think wrestling is fake. I tell them, “The pain is real. So is the money.”

PATRICK BATEMAN
(sips electrolyte water)
And so is the power dynamic. You versus Vince? That wasn’t a match. That was a boardroom merger. You shaved his head like a hostile takeover. Like a scalp trophy on the wall.

The camera pans to a framed photo of Trump holding electric clippers over Vince McMahon’s bald head. Bateman stares at it the way one might admire a Rothko—silent, reverent, cold.

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Macron Handshake

INT. TRUMP TOWER – EXECUTIVE SUITE – NIGHT

City lights burn below. Gold-leaf ceiling above. Patrick Bateman and Donald Trump stand near the window, sipping scotch, eyes full of conquest and contempt. The TV behind them replays the infamous Trump-Macron handshake—white-knuckled, awkward, primal.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(watching the replay, amused)
Look at that. Macron trying to siphon off power from your hand like some kind of political parasite. Absurd. The man’s a beta. Not even six feet tall.

DONALD TRUMP
(snorts)
Five-seven at best. They say five-nine, but come on. I’ve stood next to the guy. He’s tiny. Trembles when I enter a room.

PATRICK BATEMAN
Exactly. He’s what we used to call in the Ivy League a “manlet.” Napoleon complex with a bank account. Overcompensating with forceful gestures and empty charm.

DONALD TRUMP
(grinning)
I felt it too, Patrick. That grip? It was desperate. Like he thought if he squeezed hard enough, he’d absorb me. Like I’m some kind of golden battery.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(smirks)
But you held firm. You didn’t flinch. That’s alpha. That’s dominance psychology. He blinked first. That’s all that matters.

DONALD TRUMP
Everyone saw it. All the generals. All the leaders. They said, “Sir, you crushed him. Just like you crushed NAFTA. Just like you crushed the debates.”

PATRICK BATEMAN
(leaning in)
Macron reads The Prince. You are The Prince.

DONALD TRUMP
(preening slightly)
He’s all theory. I’m action. I build towers. He builds metaphors.

PATRICK BATEMAN
And when he touches your hand, it’s like he’s trying to climb a ladder he’ll never reach. Because you’re not just tall, Donald. You’re high status. Macron? He’s just a well-dressed civil servant with a trophy wife and delusions of Caesar.

DONALD TRUMP
(laughs)
That’s good. I’m going to use that. “Well-dressed civil servant.” Classic.

They clink glasses. The screen freezes on Macron’s grimace, Trump’s smirk. A silent visual thesis on dominance.

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Ivana Trump

INT. TRUMP TOWER – NIGHT

Marble floors gleam. Gold everywhere. A painting of Donald Trump hangs above the fireplace like Caesar in Manhattan. Patrick Bateman sips from a crystal tumbler of 30-year-old Macallan. Donald Trump paces proudly, showing off his skyscraper like a man introducing his kingdom. The conversation drifts to ghosts of the past.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(smirking, sharp in Valentino)
You know, Donald, I always admired Ivana. She had… edge. Czech frost. The kind of cold beauty you could carve diamonds on.

DONALD TRUMP
(stops, eyes sparkle with nostalgia and a little disdain)
Ivana? Tremendous woman. Tremendous. Very strong. She could run a hotel better than most men I knew. But she wanted to be… in charge. And I don’t like being second place. Ever.

PATRICK BATEMAN
Of course not. Alpha to the bone. She had that Eastern Bloc toughness. Like she could have survived a Gulag… or run one.

DONALD TRUMP
Exactly! That’s what I used to say. “Ivana, you should be running Czechoslovakia.” I gave her the Plaza, let her run Atlantic City for a while—people forget that. But the problem is, Patrick, when you give too much power… they start thinking they’re the brand.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(leaning forward, intrigued)
And you’re not just the brand. You’re the empire.

DONALD TRUMP
That’s right. I’m Trump. The name is the business. Not her, not Marla, not even Melania. Me.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(chuckles)
It’s almost romantic. In a ruthless, Ayn Rand sort of way.

DONALD TRUMP
(grinning)
Ivana tried to negotiate the prenup. Big mistake. I told her: “You want half the kingdom? Build your own.” And she did—kind of. She’s got her hotels, her lines… Ivana Inc. But she was never Trump Inc.

PATRICK BATEMAN
That’s the thing about legacy. You either own it, or you get written out of it.

DONALD TRUMP
She got the money. I got the name. Fair trade. Besides, I upgraded.

PATRICK BATEMAN
(icy smile)
Like a car lease. Cold, efficient. Very… Reaganite.

They sip their scotch as the skyline glows behind them. Two men, high above the city, haunted by women and ambition, comparing notes on love, power, and brands.

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Trump Products

INT. TRUMP TOWER – EXECUTIVE SUITE – NIGHT
A storm of Manhattan neon reflects in the windows. Champagne chills beside a platter of rare steak. PATRICK BATEMAN, immaculate in Tom Ford, sits across from DONALD TRUMP, who’s wearing a navy suit and a red tie like a battlefield flag.

PATRICK BATEMAN (leaning back, eyes gleaming):
Donald… your brand portfolio is the most avant-garde expression of American excess I’ve ever seen.
The Trump Game? It’s Monopoly for sociopaths—perfect.
I bought four copies. Two to play, two to burn.

DONALD TRUMP (smirking):
It teaches winning. That’s what people forget. Life’s not fair. Trump: The Game is.
You either dominate or go bankrupt.

PATRICK BATEMAN (with reverence):
It belongs in MoMA. Post-capitalist abstraction in board game form.
Now… Trump Water.
I had it chilled to exactly 37.5 degrees. It’s clean. Strong.
It doesn’t just hydrate—it asserts itself.

DONALD TRUMP (nodding):
Most water’s weak. Mine’s not.
Comes from a secret American spring. We tested it—99.9% testosterone.

PATRICK BATEMAN (eyes widening):
That explains the flavor.
Now… the Trump Steaks.
Donald, those weren’t steaks. They were a challenge to mortality.
I served them at my Christmas party instead of cocaine.
People wept.

DONALD TRUMP (laughs):
They couldn’t handle the flavor.
Those steaks were aged with ambition.
Only reason they failed? America was too soft.

PATRICK BATEMAN:
Exactly. The world wasn’t worthy of them.
And don’t even get me started on Trump Vodka.
I drank half a bottle and tried to buy AT&T.

DONALD TRUMP (grinning):
I made vodka for people who hate vodka but love power.
It didn’t sell—too refined.

PATRICK BATEMAN (smirking):
That’s the tragedy of genius.
I still have three bottles locked in a vault. Next to my copy of Huey Lewis’s Hip to Be Square.
Both timeless. Both violent in their clarity.

DONALD TRUMP (with finality):
They’ll understand one day. All of it.
The game, the steaks, the water—
It was never just about products.
It was a lifestyle.

PATRICK BATEMAN (raising his glass):
To the man who turned consumption into philosophy.

DONALD TRUMP (raising his glass back):
To winning. Always.

The glasses clink. Somewhere in the distance, a golden elevator opens. Cue Phil Collins.

FADE OUT.

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Snake Watches the Fireworks

The desert night was eerily quiet, save for the distant rumble of jet engines and the staccato pulse of artillery echoing across the hills. Snake sat cross-legged on a rusted observation post high above the no-man’s land between Iran and Israel, chewing a half-burnt cigar. His bandana fluttered slightly in the dry wind, the glow from the distant explosions painting his face in red and orange hues.

“Fireworks,” he muttered, squinting into the horizon where flashes of light pierced the darkness. “Just like the Fourth of July… except no one’s free.”

He adjusted his infrared scope and watched a formation of drones arc like swarms of angry wasps over the border, their payloads illuminating the sky in a devastating light show. Somewhere down there, children screamed. Somewhere else, generals cheered.

Otacon’s voice crackled in his ear.
“Snake, that’s not a battlefield—it’s a graveyard in progress. What the hell are we even doing out here?”

Snake exhaled.
“Watching history repeat itself. They call it prophecy. I call it theater. And we’re the janitors.”

A massive detonation rocked the valley below. Snake didn’t flinch. He’d seen too many cities burn from rooftops, too many empires fall with the push of a button. This wasn’t war anymore. It was ritual.

“They’re fighting over holy land, Otacon. But the land isn’t holy. The blood is.”

Otacon sighed.
“You think we can stop it?”

“No.” Snake lit another cigar off a burning fragment that had landed nearby. “But we can witness it. Someone has to remember the truth after the smoke clears.”

Behind him, the stars blinked coldly. Below, fire danced on the Earth like judgment day had come early.

“Snake out.”

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Trump Versus the Persian Empire

Madman Theory 2.0
Location: Desert bunker overlooking the Iranian border, midnight

The air inside the steel shelter was thick with dust, radio static, and tension. Snake leaned against the concrete wall, arms crossed, his eyes locked on the flickering screen displaying missile trajectories. The door creaked open. In strode former President Donald J. Trump—dressed in a navy-blue suit and red tie, absurdly clean for a war zone.

TRUMP:
“Snake. Glad you could make it. I always said you were the best. People tell me that. Even Putin said it.”

Snake didn’t move. His gravelly voice cut through the silence like a knife.

SNAKE:
“You’re doing Nixon again.”

TRUMP (grinning):
“Nixon? Come on. I’m smarter. Much smarter. I perfected the madman theory. They’re afraid of me because I’m unpredictable. It’s genius, really.”

SNAKE:
“No. It’s recklessness disguised as strategy. Nixon used it to spook the Soviets. You’re using it on Persia. Problem is—Persia has patience. Thousands of years of it.”

TRUMP (shrugs):
“Look, Snake. These people respect strength. Fire and fury works. Peace through strength—Reagan said it. You blow up a few reactors, they’ll come to the table.”

Snake stepped forward, shadows carving hard lines into his face.

SNAKE:
“No, they’ll bury their dead and wait for revenge. You’re not playing chess—you’re flipping the board and calling yourself a winner.”

TRUMP (pointing):
“That’s where you’re wrong. I am the board. I built the game. And everybody wants to play—”

SNAKE (interrupting):
“You’re playing with fire in a region soaked in oil. One spark and the whole world goes up.”

Trump paused, just briefly. The bravado cracked for a second.

TRUMP:
“I just want to make America great again.”

SNAKE:
“Then stop trying to play God.”

Static hissed louder through the speakers. The screen lit up—an explosion on the Iranian side. Another convoy gone. Trump looked satisfied. Snake turned away in disgust.

SNAKE (muttering):
“History doesn’t repeat itself… but it rhymes. And you’re rhyming with madness.”

Trump looked out the window at the distant blaze.

TRUMP:
“Some call it madness. I call it art.”

SNAKE (cold):
“Tell that to the kids under the rubble.”

He walked out, the wind slamming the steel door behind him.

Outside, the desert trembled again.

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HAARP & The Deep State

Title: “Tremors of Truth: A Message from President Donald J. Trump”
As told by Donald Trump himself, straight from Mar-a-Lago.

Folks, it’s Donald J. Trump, your favorite president—possibly the only president who could stop the Deep State from cracking the Earth in half. I’m here with something very important. Maybe the most important message since Moses brought down the Ten Commandments—and those were good, very good commandments. But this is about HAARP.

Now, you might not know what HAARP is. Most people don’t. It’s the High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program—sounds technical, I know—but let me break it down. It’s a big machine, up in Alaska, and it can mess with the weather, the atmosphere… and maybe even the ground beneath your feet.

The Deep State? They’re planning to use HAARP to trigger the Revelation 16 earthquake. That’s right. The Big One. The Bible says:

“And there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great.” —Revelation 16:18.

A mega-quake. Coast to coast destruction. Biblical proportions.

But here’s the good news—great news, actually—if the U.S. military gives me control of HAARP, I won’t let it happen. I’ll dial it back. That’s right. Instead of a Revelation-level quake, we’ll do tiny tremors. Little ones. Beautiful little quakes that release pressure, keep things balanced. Earthquakes that make America stable again.

And I have the scripture to prove God’s on my side. Psalm 104:5—King David said it:

“He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.”

That’s the Trump Doctrine right there. The Earth? Should not be moved. Not by the Deep State. Not by globalists. Not by crooked scientists messing with tectonic plates. God said no. Trump says no. And we will not be moved.

Under my leadership, the military will take HAARP back from the swamp creatures. No more geo-engineering by guys who failed high school physics. We’ll put in very smart people—the best people. We’ll turn Revelation 16 into Psalm 104. And the world? It’ll shake a little—but it won’t break.

So to the military generals, I say this:
Give Trump HAARP, and I’ll make the Earth great again.

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Puppet of the Patriots

G.I. Joe Says the Fake Trump Assassination Was a Necessary Psyop

In a dramatic turn of events that’s shaking the alt-media world, G.I. Joe—the digital warrior turned whistleblower—has declared that the recent assassination attempt on Donald Trump was faked as part of a high-stakes psyop. According to Joe, the operation was “necessary” to secure Trump’s cooperation in testifying against the deep state forces that even QAnon fears to name: the Rockefeller and Rothschild dynasties.

“Trump is the key witness,” Joe said in a secure broadcast from an undisclosed location. “But he’ll only flip when he’s safe—in Slovenia—with Melania as President.”

The Patriot Network Responds

Leading alternative media figures Alex Jones, Mark Dice, and Paul Joseph Watson have come forward in a rare moment of consensus, urging Trump to come clean:

  • Alex Jones: “We’ve been saying it for years—the globalists are running the world. Trump knows where the bodies are buried. But we need him alive, protected, and willing to testify.”
  • Mark Dice: “The assassination attempt was theater, and the audience was the deep state. Trump had to fake it, like Epstein but with better PR.”
  • PJW: “The truth is stranger than fiction. Trump isn’t hiding. He’s positioning. Slovenia is neutral ground—the Vatican for MAGA.”

The Slovenia Scenario

Why Slovenia? G.I. Joe claims that it’s the last place on Earth the Rockefellers still fear—a land of hidden bunkers, legal neutrality, and Melania’s ancestral mystique. Once there, Trump can safely testify before an international tribunal of patriots and drop the mother of all truth bombs:

“From Rockefeller oil money to Rothschild banking wars, Trump has the documents. The moment he testifies, it’s game over for the globalist cabal.”

What Comes Next?

The theory goes that once Trump is in Slovenia and Melania is elected President—a move that blends House of Cards, Game of Thrones, and Q-drops—he will declassify everything. CIA black budgets, Epstein’s client list, even alien tech locked away in deep underground military bases (DUMBs).

G.I. Joe ended his broadcast with a chilling but hopeful message:

“They faked his assassination so he could live to expose THEM.”

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