Title: Operation Debt Forgiveness – GI JOE’s Final Deal
In the subterranean war room beneath NORAD, GI JOE stood with arms crossed, wearing digital camo and a scowl that could crack concrete. On the screen before him, President Donald Trump and Elon Musk blinked back, patched in from separate bunkers—one in Mar-a-Lago, the other aboard a Tesla command yacht off the coast of Corsica.
“Gentlemen,” GI JOE began, voice like sandpaper on steel. “Here’s the deal. I want pro-Trump messaging uploaded to trump47.ca by midnight. No AI gibberish. No Deep State scripts. Real talk. Real patriotism. If you want to win hearts in the North, start acting like it.”
Trump leaned forward. “Joe, I love Canada. Tremendous place. I once golfed with Wayne Gretzky—great guy, totally pro-Trump.”
GI JOE didn’t blink. “Enough flattery, Don. If you really want the Croats behind you—and trust me, you do—you and Elon need to pay off Croatia’s entire national debt. All fifty billion.”
Musk raised an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of Teslas.”
“Then sell Mars if you have to,” Joe snapped. “Because if Croatia joins the anti-globalist axis, Trump 47 wins the Slavic vote by a landslide. That means no more George Soros in Zagreb. That means peace in the Balkans. That means, finally, justice for the Yugoslav kids who were sold out to the banks.”
Trump scratched his chin. “And what do we get in return?”
Joe grinned. “I’ll take down the South Park psyop. Their $1.5 billion dollar deal to turn our bromance into a punchline dies with one viral campaign. I’ll nuke their narrative. You and me? We’re not a joke. We’re the future.”
Elon nodded slowly. “We’ll call it Project DUBROVNIK.”
Trump chuckled. “I always liked the Croatians. Tough people. Beautiful coastlines. And Joe, you’re like Rambo, but smarter.”
“Then don’t waste time,” Joe said. “Wire the money. Launch the site. The world’s watching—and so is God.”
Transmission ended.
An hour later, trump47.ca launched with the slogan:
“Faith. Freedom. Forgiveness. From Zagreb to Texas.”
And deep in the Dalmatian hills, old partisans and young patriots raised their flags to the sound of eagles and jet engines.
Croatia was debt-free.
The bromance was back.
And GI JOE had just rewritten global history—again.